peterdobbinvictims.com

A sexual predator is a person seen as obtaining or trying to obtain sexual contact with another person in a metaphorically “predatory” or abusive manner. The term “sexual predator” is often used to refer to a person who habitually seeks out sexual situations that are deemed exploitative.

This blog is to share my experience with Peter Charles Dobbin, a sexual predator I met online. Peter is from East London and works as a concept artist. He is 52, has 2 daughters whose names I will not reveal. He had a long-term partner (S) who runs a cafe but is now separated from Peter.

I met Peter on Facebook on the 23rd of August 2023 through a group called Myths, Folklore and Legends (or something along those lines). He wrote a children’s book and made a long post about it in the group. I wanted to support and replied to the post “Do you ship to Malaysia?” He then private messages me and complains about people in the group. I entertain and don’t think much of it. Next day, I get a text from him asking me how I am doing. I still remember receiving the text and thinking it was weird that he had texted me. I didn’t want to reply but I did. I also have to be truthful about my life here. Despite being married, I felt alone. My husband and I had compatibility issues and we didn’t stay together. That made me an easy target for someone like Peter. 

This started as friendship, from my side at least. After the initial text, Peter proceeds to text me everyday.  I quickly become attached to him. I looked forward to my 11am, because that is his 4am and his first text to me is when he wakes up. We text for hours, non-stop. All of a sudden, I felt less alone and nothing else mattered. We start sharing about our lives, childhood, etc. I still only saw him as a friend. 

Then something interesting happens, he starts sharing about his ‘debauchery’ days. He shared something he wrote about his early days of having sex with women. It made me uncomfortable but I did not say anything. This goes on for a few days until one story he shared that made me feel sad and disgusted. 

Peter and his friend, when they were 14, took turns to have sex with a girl (A) who is also their friend. It’s the tone he used that made me uncomfortable. He told me A was unstable and of loose character, he laughed about it. I reprimanded him for it and he did not appreciate it. He said he wanted to share a nice story and was not expecting a moral lesson. That really was the first red flag. 

Peter proceeds to exploit me mentally and sexually for 2.5 years while gaslighting me and his partner. Over the 2 plus years I was with him, I found out that he has a pattern of manipulating women, especially his partner and the women he meet online. Here is a brief history of his cheating, that I know of. 

1. His partner’s good friend A – who is also the wife of his friend T. Peter told me within the first months of knowing me that he had an affair with his friend’s wife. He sounded proud. I asked him if he regrets it and he said no. He said it was not love but he liked being sexual with her. He first kissed her in a bar and then proceeded to see her behind his partner’s back. When his friend was not at home, A would call him over and they had sex in their house. T and A are now separated and Peter happily signed a paper that made T lose his children.

2. A Spanish woman (N). This relationship lasted for more than 2 years and she is deeply traumatised by him. I contacted her and she said she is very cautious on social media after her experience with him. She said he is a ‘psychopath’ and I have to stay away from him. Peter’s partner found out about this affair around September 2021 and kicked him out of the house but she took him back 6 weeks later. They did couples therapy and S builds everything from scratch, only for Peter to still be in contact with N. N then walks away from the realtionship.  

3. A Chilean woman (N) who he claimed was very explicit and keen to be sexual with him but he was not into it. 

4. Many other one night stands and short term affairs. One incident was particularly interesting. Peter had a one night stand at a friend’s wedding and Peter’s sister (G) knew this but covered for him. 

My relationship with Peter was highly volatile and dysregulating because the entire relationship was about him having his sexual needs met. If I showed myself, he would be close to me. He would be kind, attentive and interested. It was his mantra “I wish sex didn’t make me feel close, but it does.” or “My gf doesn’t make me hard, I don’t fancy her”. If I did not entertain him, he would withdraw and pick fights with me. He needed sex everyday. Every single day. While he was still employed, he would masturbate in his office twice a day. I thought if I gave him what he needed, he would stay. 

The right question now would be ‘why stay with someone like him?’. I must have tried to end my relationship with him over 30 times. I would split up with him, manage a few days without him but I went through severe anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t survive without him. I now understand why victims of abuse still stay with their abuser. Trauma-bond. 

Peter gave enough to keep me hooked. He spoke about the future. He said he will leave his partner because he has fallen out of love with her. He spoke about him and me being together. But he also uses the term ‘friend’ with me. We spent so much time together. He left to work very early. He told me he hated being at home because the chaos of his children getting ready to school was too much for him. He would leave by 4:30 am for work. The moment he left the house, he would call me while he biked to work. When he got to work, he would video call me. Peter was mostly alone in his office, so we would be on video call on average 12 hours a day. The quality of the day depended on how ‘happy’ I kept him. If I fulfilled his sexual needs, he and I would have a decent day. Otherwise, he would sulk for days and it made me feel anxious.

Around August 2025, I contacted his partner and told her the truth about the relationship he had with me. I did this because I felt it was the only I could end the relationship with him. It was toxic and I was trauma-bonded to him. Peter would make me watch him cut himself with a knife. He would cut his hip and his arms while on video call with him. He did this to control my behaviour. 

To be continued. In the meantime, if you are facing similar issues with Peter or anyone else, please reach out. I am happy to offer any support I can.